Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Destroyers of Life: Toxic Relationships

"From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling in-law,
you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life.
You can either give negativity power over your life
or you can choose happiness instead.
Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life.
Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life."
(Anais Nin)

 
* * Attention: When you are NOT in the presence of toxic people, do not waste one nano-second of your life energy on them. Do not think about them. Do not talk about them. If someone else brings up the topic of "What they up to now?" just change the subject and make it clear you will not discuss them. The less attention you put on these toxic people, the less you will find yourself thinking about them.

* * Engagement: When you are in the presence of toxic people, do not adopt their tactics by stooping to trade insults with them. Do not retaliate by doing the same rotten things to them that they have done to you. Do call them on their bad behavior in a calm manner by just sticking to the facts. Otherwise, do not engage them. If they start verbally abusing you, walk away.

* * Redirection: When toxic people have hurt you deeply, it is hard not think about them. Yet that is what you must do. When they intrude upon your thoughts, immediately change the channel by thinking about something else that is pleasant. The more you redirect your mind to happiness, the less you will find it drifting back to toxic people. When this redirection becomes a habit, toxic people will rarely intrude upon your mind.

* * Crowding: When you have to be around or see toxic people, arrange to see them when there is a large crowd present. If one person tries to be nasty, just walk away and find another one who can be pleasant. Remember what goes around comes around and those who are nasty will only end up destroying their own life.

14 comments:

  1. Donna Duquette via FacebookOctober 12, 2010 at 2:36 PM

    thank you for the reminder i needed it

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  2. ((( you're welcome, Donna. )))

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  3. Angie Hopper via FacebookOctober 12, 2010 at 2:38 PM

    I choose happiness!!!

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  4. Michele Owen via FacebookOctober 12, 2010 at 2:40 PM

    How did you know I needed to read that today Brooke. I was just going to write about why I always seem to be affected by the negativity around me even when I know I shouldn't let it bother me. I have to remember the four agreements that people's negativity isn't you it's their own issues about themselves coming back on you but boy sometimes it sure is hard.

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  5. I didn't know, but I am sure thankful the thought helps put things into perspective for you!

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  6. Misty Grant via FacebookOctober 12, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    Thank you Brooke...if there was ever a time where I needed to read this, this week is it for sure!

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  7. Michele Owen via FacebookOctober 12, 2010 at 4:18 PM

    Thank you thank you thank you for posting this. I just read it to my family. We have a couple toxic people in our lives and it's been years of dealing with it and we made a decision recently to cut it out of our lives and it's been a lot more pleasant but some days the negative ramblings trickle in so your post was perfect timing for us. :)

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  8. Jimmy Hall via FacebookOctober 12, 2010 at 4:19 PM

    ouch! So true, yet stepping on my toes!

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  9. DannyNApril via FacebookOctober 12, 2010 at 4:20 PM

    Had to share Brooke! Good read.

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  10. ‎(((( You are welcome, Michele. ))))

    Thank you, everybody :)

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  11. WOW - excellent timing for yours truly also. You are angelic. MANY THANKS!

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  12. ((( You're welcome, too, Andy. )))

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  13. "Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life.
    Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life."

    So very very true. Rooting out toxic people and keeping new ones from taking their place is a life-long task.

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  14. They try and hook you into their drama, be aware!

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